Eddie stared at the two girls with their faces planted on the table.
It was morning time and the three were in an old-fashioned lecture hall that expanded upward with rows and rows of seats like in a movie theater. And also like a movie theater, the seats faced a big white screen. But beneath that screen was a big table with a black, leather office chair that the teacher would soon command as soon as he arrived. Windows to the outside world covered the left side of the room, while the right side was just a blank wall.
"What's up with you guys?" he asked.
Viv rolled her head so the left half of her face was exposed. There was a deep, dark circle beneath her eye. "Don't call us guys," she grumbled at her brother. "Also, nunya!"
"Okay, geez!" went Eddie. Under his breath, he grumbled, "I was just a little worried about you, you know. Probably forgot about school and just stayed up all night doing something stupid like slumber party things, anyway."
He kept grumbling as he stomped up the stairs, purposely choosing the highest row behind his sister before dropping down onto the seat with a loud thump.
Lily lifted her head up with a groan. Eddie had been right that she and Viv forgot about school and stayed up all night, but it wasn't for slumber party things. They had been trying to make the bracelet bring back out that ghost lady with the ominous warning. Lily was especially keen to know more about this evil the ghost lady said was coming, and about her being a hero and the chosen one.
But no matter what the girls did (asking the bracelet, hitting the bracelet), the ghost lady would not appear again. And by the time they finally gave up, the sun had already risen.
A few minutes after Eddie sat down, the bell rang signaling the start of homeroom. Lily grudgingly straightened up. However, the teacher was not here yet.
"I wonder why the teacher's not here yet," one boy nearby whispered to another.
"Who knows? Maybe he overslept?"
"Come on, this is Bluestone Academy! There's no way a teacher here would oversleep."
"I don't know. Rumor has it that there's a really weird teacher here. They say he talks to animals and really bends the rules as far as he can. He basically does whatever he wants here."
Lily's ears perked up. A guy that could talk to animals? That sounded very familiar to her.
Another five minutes passed, but the teacher still hadn't showed up. The classroom started to get rowdy, taking advantage of the teacher's absence to do their own thing when suddenly fanfare music played from a hidden radio over the sound of a machine's motor. A tall, red colored tube man, those inflatable dancing balloon things you'd see at car sales places, popped up from behind the teacher's desk. At the top of the main tube, a smiley face was drawn with black marker. As the tube man flapped its arms around from the constant supply of flowing air, a man's voice spoke.
"Welcome students. Allow me to introduce myself. I am your teacher, Mr. Viceroy Kevin Lin. But you can call me Viceroy or Mr. Viceroy. I like video games and comic books, and my favorite color is red. I was born in . . ."
The man's voice was without a doubt prerecorded.
Lily's jaw dropped and she could feel herself getting a panic attack.
Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? She shrieked in her head. Why is HE here? Wait, no. Technically, he's not here. That's just a tube man with a recording of his voice.
But that didn't change the fact that he was in this school, as a teacher. HER teacher.
Lily could hear everyone whispering behind her, and it made her stomach twist in knots.
Viv noticed and asked, "Lily? You okay? You don't look so good."
With a crooked smile, a face drained of color, and a really high, squeaky voice, Lily replied, "Just peachy."
Viv raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. But before she could dig further, the door suddenly burst open and a slender Asian man ran in. He rushed straight towards the teacher's desk and dove behind it. Everyone could hear a loud click as he switched the machine off. As the tube man deflated back down, the man straightened back up, fixed his necktie and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He wore a blue dress shirt and green sweater vest.
"Phew!" He turned to the crowd, smiled and said breathlessly, "Just a small joke, everyone. I totally didn't oversleep, and I totally didn't set that inflatable man up to take my place if I'm late."
"He totally overslept and he totally set that inflatable tube man to take his place if he's late," Viv whispered to Lily. "Lily? What's wrong?"
Lily put her face in her hands and shrank down a little.
It really is him, she thought despairingly.
She could hear the boys whisper, "Oh man, we really did get the weird teacher!"
"Viceroy Kevin Lin, A.K.A. The Weirdo."
Lily resisted the urge to groan. She dared to peek through her fingers and noticed the teacher looking back at her.
"Oh no."
"Lily?" said Mr. Viceroy. "Lily Wong? Is that you?"
"Oh no, oh no, oh no!"
"It's me! Your Uncle Viceroy! I heard from your parents you'd be going to a boarding school, but who'd have thought it'd be THIS one! And to be in my class too! What a coinkidink!"
Viv looked at Lily as she sank further and further down her seat, hands pressed over her face.
"Well, now I know how your uncle's a weirdo," Viv said. "He's THE Weirdo."
Feeling everyone's eyes on her, Lily groaned, "Just finish me already."
"Anyway," Mr. Viceroy said. He took a step and accidentally kicked the machine. "Oops!"
The machine turned on and the inflatable tube man appeared again. Mr. Viceroy tried to push it back down and ended up having a slap fight with it. It looked like he was actually going to lose that fight. No, seriously. He was actually losing in a slap fight with a soft, inflatable tube man. But eventually, he managed to turn the machine back off and stuff the tube man back under the table.
He straightened his necktie, smoothed down his sweater vest, and dusted his sleeves before going, "Ahem! Anyway, again, allow me to introduce myself. Also again. My name is Viceroy Lin. I will be your homeroom teacher for the school year, and one of the school's history teachers. I hope we get along.
"Now, I like to think of myself as a pretty lax guy. If you're not listening to me, I'll only warn you once or twice. That's it. Honestly, I just don't want to waste time and energy getting angry at any of you for acting up in class, at least to a certain point. Same if you're in any of my history classes. But fair warning, it won't be my fault you get bad grades on your report cards if you goof around too much. And I'm not afraid to send you guys straight to detention if you take things too far. I like to goof around, myself. But as an adult, I know when's a good time to goof off and when's not a good time to goof off. I hope I've made myself clear to you all."
No one said a word.
Satisfied with the silence, Mr. Viceroy sat on a corner of the table and moved on.
"A couple of announcements to start off the school year," he said, eyes on a sheet of paper in his right hand. "First up, the school's been getting complaints about a kleptomaniac parrot. In case you don't know, a kleptomaniac is someone with a bad habit for stealing things. I'm sure at least one or two of you had a run-in with that parrot."
"Don't remind me," Lily grumbled under her breath, remembering when that bird snatched her I.D. card.
"Hey," she heard a boy whisper to another. "Did he just pull a licorice stick out of his pocket?"
"Yeah! And he's just eating it right in front of us while reading the school news. No fair he gets to eat candy during class. Is that even allowed for teachers?"
"I don't know. But didn't he say he was that girl's uncle? You know, the one over there? Do you think she has licorice sticks in her pocket too?"
Lily wanted to scream at them that no, she did not. But she held her tongue.
"The guys upstairs already called for animal control," Mr. Viceroy said while ignoring all the whispering, "but it'll take them another week to get here. So until then, all of you be careful with your things out in the open. That includes smartphones. Some guys lost theirs thanks to that flying menace. Did everyone get that? If not, let me tell you all one more time: be absolutely careful with your things while walking outside, or they'll get stolen by some freaky blue bird. Moving on . . ."
A few hours later, during lunchtime . . .
Lily hung her head backwards as she sat listless in her chair. In front of her was a white plate with a grilled cheese sandwich. She and the Waller twins were outdoors at a snack bar kiosk that was nearby the building of their last class.
"That. Was. Horrible," she said, while rubbing her temples. She was, of course, talking about the classes she and the others had with her Uncle Viceroy.
"Oh, come on," said Viv, after swallowing a bite of BLT. "It wasn't that bad."
"Yes it was," Lily snapped. "He showed everyone my baby pics!"
In addition to homeroom, Uncle Viceroy was also everyone's history teacher. And during his history class, when he tried to play a slideshow from his computer on the movie screen, he accidentally put up a picture from his personal photo gallery instead. In that picture was Lily when she was a baby with her cheeks smeared with apple sauce and her full name printed clearly on her pink bib.
"What's worse, now everyone knows I'm related to one of the weirdest people on the planet!"
"About that," Eddie cut in, "do you have any candy in your pockets right now?"
Lily glowered at him.
"Sorry. My bad."
"Ugh!" Lily groaned as she pressed her hands over her eyes. "I can't believe it only took two days for me to stand out in the worst possible way. It was bad enough being the rich kid at my old school."
"Was Mr. Viceroy always like that?" Viv asked.
"Honestly, I think he might be better," Lily said. "At least he didn't pull out his Power Rangers action figures and use them to reenact the American Revolutionary War."
Eddie spat out milk in surprise. "He actually did that!?"
"According to Grandma," Lily said. "He made a video for some high school history project. It went about as well as you'd expect. I used to hear Mom, Grandma and Grandpa complain about him all the time. They still do, though not as much anymore."
"Really? About what?" Eddie asked.
"Seriously?" went Lily. "You saw what he was like at class. At home, it might be okay. But out in public, I don't think he should be so . . . What's the word? Unrestrained?"
"I don't think it was that bad," said Viv. "The guy does as he likes, but at least he's still doing his job."
"Can't argue with that," said Lily. "If not, he'd probably be fired already."
Eddie stood up.
"I'm gonna go grab another drink," he said. "Anyone want anything?"
"Oh, can you grab me a soda?" Lily asked.
"I'll have boba milk tea," said Viv.
"Got it," Eddie said. "Hold on. I'll be right ba-!"
As he turned to leave, he pulled out the black leather card case he used to hold his I.D. card. Right at that moment, something blue swooped down and snatched the case out of his hand.
No comments:
Post a Comment